> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.timdoleschall.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # the things you have to find yourself - URL: https://www.timdoleschall.com/the-things-you-have-to-find-yourself/ - Published: 2026-08-16T05:29:34.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-16T05:29:34.000Z - Author: Tim Doleschall - Tags: Journal we are surrounded by the idea that the best version of life looks a certain way. the right hotel, the right restaurant, the right clothes. i'm not against any of that. there's a time for comfort, and i enjoy it too. but, to be honest, i don't think that's all we should desire. the moments i come back to most, the ones i actually think about when i'm somewhere quiet, mostly didn't cost anything. they required something other than money: curiosity, a willingness to figure something out and the decision to try. the difference between experiences that stay with you and experiences that don't isn't really about money. it's about involvement. let me tell you a story from paris. a group of us from language school had been talking about getting onto the parisian rooftops. you see it everywhere online: people sitting above the city, sunsets, wine and the eiffel tower in the background. something about it just pulls at you. not necessarily the view, but the fact that they found a way up there. one afternoon, i had a picnic planned with a friend. wine, baguette and a spot near the eiffel tower. it would've been nice. very cliché, but nice. i intentionally say would've been because we never did. i arrived early because i wanted to see what else was possible. i spent the time walking through the 7th arrondissement, looking up at buildings and wondering whether i could find a way onto one of the roofs before she arrived. i kept walking until i found an open door on the ground floor of a building. inside, a group of elderly people were painting on canvases. i smiled because i couldn't help it. an atelier in paris, packed with people painting. does it get more parisian than that? they were completely absorbed in their work. the woman at the door smiled back. i'd been walking around for almost an hour by then, so i simply asked her if she knew how to get onto the rooftops. the moment i asked, i felt slightly stupid. but she treated it as a real question worth answering and offered to let me look around the building. the elevator wasn't working, so i went up to the top floor and started looking around. i wasn't sure whether it would work, but i had a feeling there had to be a way. then my friend called. she'd arrived. i went back down, brought her inside and told her what i'd found. i was excited because i was almost certain we'd make it onto the roof. sweaty hands, dirty clothes, and then we were there. just the two of us. the eiffel tower straight ahead, the sun going down, a bag full of wine and snacks i'd bought earlier. i'd even brought wine glasses from my apartment. it was perfect. it was free. it wasn't easy. and that was exactly why it felt perfect. i love paris for that reason. walking through the city with open eyes feels like walking through a living museum. every building has a story. if you look closely enough, you find details that bring genuine joy: ornaments above doorways, small sculptures on facades, decorations on ceilings that have no purpose other than beauty. the architects who designed those streets were expressing something. it feels personal because it is. hong kong is different. a lot of life here happens indoors. the humidity can make it difficult to spend time outside for long, space is compressed and shopping malls are everywhere. but it reveals itself differently. in the mornings, when i run along the harbourfront or up bowen road while most of the city is still asleep, it feels completely different. quiet, open and fully itself. those runs cost nothing. they're some of my favourite moments here. the same goes for swimming in the open sea as the sun comes up, before going to uni or to the office. those moments don't cost much and don't require perfect planning. they just require waking up earlier and showing up. i'm not trying to romanticise simplicity or make a case against nice things. i know the feeling of wanting to buy something to feel better. that pull is real, and i'm not immune to it. but the relief it gives is often short. what lasts longer is being absorbed in something: a project, a run, a conversation or a journey that goes somewhere unexpected. the things that stay with me are rarely the things that were handed to me complete. they're the things i had to work for, step outside my comfort zone for, or share with someone i care about. those are the moments worth desiring.